Intro
So I kinda want to talk about people and what makes people people this time around. I feel as if I've been walking through the halls of my school and looking around only seeing a few individuals, and others that kinda blend together. Everyone has some kind of personality, even if it is buried quite deeply. Being able to find it is the fun part.
Categories
Now, the definition of 'personality' points us to analyzing people and categorizing them. This is obviously and unarguably a human behavior, as categorization is the basis of our memory and greatly affects how we interact with pretty much everything. A popular NPR program called Invisibilia did a great show on categorization a few weeks ago, and it was quite entertaining and helped me realize that we not only do this to objects, but we do it to people as well. Think about it - it's not even a matter of if you do it, but a matter of how much time it's been since you did it last.
So, yes, we have categories. The first that comes to mind is the popular category (of course, what else). There are certain characteristics which may differ based on location, age, or whatever, but there's a generic mode which is typically followed. And what I've come to notice is that these people aren't any more popular than people not in the group, they have just assumed (perhaps wrongly) that they occupy the highest echelon of the social spectrum.
There are others, of course, but they seem to fall underneath, to the wayside. Why? There's a lot of psychoanalysis behind stuff like this, but the 'safety in numbers' idea comes to mind here. I don't necessarily mean safety from bodily harm, but safety in terms of security of the self; surrounding one's person with friends (whether they're loose or close friends) will provide a false sense of confidence in one's persona - once they're gone, the socialite becomes deflated.
Redeeming characteristics are present in everyone, however, and it's hard to look past the shell sometimes. Everyone is transparent, even if it's only in small degrees.
So, yes, we have categories. The first that comes to mind is the popular category (of course, what else). There are certain characteristics which may differ based on location, age, or whatever, but there's a generic mode which is typically followed. And what I've come to notice is that these people aren't any more popular than people not in the group, they have just assumed (perhaps wrongly) that they occupy the highest echelon of the social spectrum.
There are others, of course, but they seem to fall underneath, to the wayside. Why? There's a lot of psychoanalysis behind stuff like this, but the 'safety in numbers' idea comes to mind here. I don't necessarily mean safety from bodily harm, but safety in terms of security of the self; surrounding one's person with friends (whether they're loose or close friends) will provide a false sense of confidence in one's persona - once they're gone, the socialite becomes deflated.
Redeeming characteristics are present in everyone, however, and it's hard to look past the shell sometimes. Everyone is transparent, even if it's only in small degrees.
Finding a Source
Talking to someone is the first step. Just having a conversation is the most definite step in the right direction for anybody wanting to get to know anybody else for any reason. Communication like this will lead to learning. Like my friend Logan, who was (for a while) considered a nerd, was in love with Taylor Swift (and proud of it, I might add). Looking at him do his homework and compete in intellectual competitions, you couldn't even begin to understand his dedication to her - it was intense. This, obviously, made me break a stereotype. Yes, they exist for a reason, but even those belonging solidly to a category have a fountain of creativity and uniqueness that cannot be found in another. Being able to find this in others is exciting, and is a motivating factor in not being nice to people, but giving out genuine kindness; your peculiarities may not be the same as someone else's, but all of us have them. We all belong to the same category after all.
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Cheesy and kinda stupid, yeah, but it's worth. I talked in the above paragraph about everyone belonging to the same category, and that's true. But another main component has to be taken into account, and that is the one of respect. Hard to understand and even harder sometimes to give to others, respect is omnipresent.
In terms of respect, I have a basic policy that I try to follow: 'give increasingly larger amounts of respect until it's deemed that [insert other person] doesn't deserve it'.
Now, fighting through the categories I talked about earlier is what makes this incredibly hard - treating everyone the same way with the same level of level-headedness and intelligence is what's supposed to happen, but it gets thrown out the window when a pre-conceived idea of what a person is going to be like overrides the respect policy. And this is where the internal struggle occurs: do I judge them based on how I think they should be, or what they're going to say five minutes from now?
It's a million-dollar question, and it's a fuckin' hard one to answer.
A dilemma, yes, but an impossible one? No. It's a hard decision, but it's gonna come down to whether you want to feel better and more confident about dealing with others now or later. Most would say now, but that'd involve reanalyzing and actually confronting another human being, so that's a turnoff. And then your stereotypes might even be proved right, and you'll feel smug and proud of yourself. But eventually, everyone will have to step up and actually see that nobody is at the higher end of any spectrum. Finding a way to beat your ideas of what people might be like is as simple as asking a few words (toned as a question) and then replying, making a joke, doing something goofy, or taking a stand for someone you might not have otherwise been willing to defend.
It's all the same for everyone. The spectrum is grey area, a pool where everyone drifts and knocks into each other like bumper boats. It's more worth it to go out in the middle and bump into all the other boats and have fun than it is to piddle around in the corner because bumping into the other boats is uncomfortable.
We're all people. We might be different, but it's our differences that make us equal. Whether you take it to heart or not is up to you to decide, but willingly diving under now will make you much more accustomed and willing to deal with everyone than plunging in later.
In terms of respect, I have a basic policy that I try to follow: 'give increasingly larger amounts of respect until it's deemed that [insert other person] doesn't deserve it'.
Now, fighting through the categories I talked about earlier is what makes this incredibly hard - treating everyone the same way with the same level of level-headedness and intelligence is what's supposed to happen, but it gets thrown out the window when a pre-conceived idea of what a person is going to be like overrides the respect policy. And this is where the internal struggle occurs: do I judge them based on how I think they should be, or what they're going to say five minutes from now?
It's a million-dollar question, and it's a fuckin' hard one to answer.
A dilemma, yes, but an impossible one? No. It's a hard decision, but it's gonna come down to whether you want to feel better and more confident about dealing with others now or later. Most would say now, but that'd involve reanalyzing and actually confronting another human being, so that's a turnoff. And then your stereotypes might even be proved right, and you'll feel smug and proud of yourself. But eventually, everyone will have to step up and actually see that nobody is at the higher end of any spectrum. Finding a way to beat your ideas of what people might be like is as simple as asking a few words (toned as a question) and then replying, making a joke, doing something goofy, or taking a stand for someone you might not have otherwise been willing to defend.
It's all the same for everyone. The spectrum is grey area, a pool where everyone drifts and knocks into each other like bumper boats. It's more worth it to go out in the middle and bump into all the other boats and have fun than it is to piddle around in the corner because bumping into the other boats is uncomfortable.
We're all people. We might be different, but it's our differences that make us equal. Whether you take it to heart or not is up to you to decide, but willingly diving under now will make you much more accustomed and willing to deal with everyone than plunging in later.
